Monday, March 31, 2008

Inside the Last Days of Violence

I was watching the French film Dans Paris (aka Inside Paris) this morning and thought this shot towards the end was quite lovely. It's of one of the film's stars, Louis Garrel, standing in front of two movie posters as he walks the streets of Paris at night. The movies are Last Days (which stars Garrel's The Dreamers co-star Michael Pitt) and A History of Violence. I like seeing movie posters in films for some reason. I just get a kick out of it. Plus, I just like the shot.

Dans Paris has a few more virtues though than just this short moment. It's a thoroughly new wave-esque film about two brothers, one a sex-craved student and the other a manic-depressive recovering from the breakdown of his marriage. It's too schizophrenic for it's own good, weaving in and out around storylines without a care in the world, which takes some getting used to. The criss-crossed editing doesn't help matters, either. For a while I wasn't sure where we were. However, Romain Duris, quickly becoming a fave of mine (he's probably most well known for The Beat My Heart Skipped) is very excellent as the depressed brother. And, well, he's Romain Duris so the movie has that going for it already. Just check out these caps from this charming scene where Duris sings along to a Kim Wilde record ("Cambodia" if you were wondering). Isn't he scrumptious?

He's got a job to do. Fly to Australia and ravage me, that's what!

Dans Paris, B-

Well, HELLO*!

"Do you like this gown? It's very dramatic".

That's not all, Brenda.

* Courtesy of Adem who pointed me in the direction of this fabulous video via Facebook. It really is the greatest thing I've ever seen in my entire life. "Fashion is something that is acquired by looking at a lot of different fashions."

A-fuckin'-men, sister! "Let's teleport into my closet and talk about fashion!" This shit writes itself. "Ostrich feathures, anyone?"

Sunday, March 30, 2008

Glenn Reviews Gladiators

This is my review of the return of Gladiators to television:


The end.

And now to elaborate.

I used to looove Gladiators. Me and my friends used to create our own Gladiators challengers in the schoolground. Our favourite was the Eliminator. We totally had the over/under challenge, the monkey bars, the ropes. I believe we even had a travellator of sorts! So when I heard that it was coming back I was soooo psyched. And watching the premiere tonight reminded me just how amazing it truly is.

Nothing can compare to the site of fully grown men and woman (including famous athletes like Anthony "Kouta" Koutoufides and Tatiana "Olympia" Grigorieva) running around with giant earbuds and handclappers sprouting dialogue that Troma would find embarassing. I can't wait to see challenges such as Vertigo, Hang Tough, Suspension Bridge, Sumo Ball, The Wall and, my absolute favourites, Hit & Run, Atlasphere and POWERBALL!!!!!. It's gonna rock.

A quick look at the official site gives us such invaluable information about our ripped roid hounds. Some of my favourites so far are (using the image at the top as reference):

Amazon (1st, top row) - She has hilarious hair!!!

Nitro (2nd, top row) - From the moment I saw her I knew I'd like her.

Destiny (4th, top row) - Because I think it's lovely that today's youth (Gladiators is, essentially, a kids show) are being introduced to porn stars so early. They need to get Peter North of this shit, y'all.

Thunder (6th, bottom row) - Because he's hilarious when they speak to him after challenges.

Outlaw (7th, bottom row) - I find this guy kinda sexy. Maybe if he cut off the Paddlepop Lion locks he'd be an out-and-out sexy mothafucka.

I did get a kick out of seeing the camera continuously cut back to someone in the crowd holding up a sign reading "BYRONY" despite the fact that one of the female contestents' name was actually Bryony. Did Channel 7's prop department screw up or are Bryony's family just really really stupid? WHO CARES because it all helps make Gladiators even more (to quote Spiderbait) fuckin' awesome and that's all you need to know.

Bold, rugged and lawless, this outsider was born to be wild. With an untamed spirit, he tackles every challenge with fearless abandon.

This wild cowboy is ready to lay down the law to his Challengers.

"I do things my way," he says. "I don't care who my Challengers are or what they do. I'll beat them regardless. I play hard and fast but most importantly I play to win."

Oh lordy! I need a cold shower...

Maybe if I host wearing only these board shorts
then people would pay more attention to me!

No, Tom. No.

Saturday, March 29, 2008

Did You Give to the Earth

Did you turn your power off for Earth Hour? Are you going to turn your power off for Earth Hour? I was at a farewell party where the place was filled with candles and the power struck off, what did/will you do? And if you didn't (or won't - stupid time zones) you can never for the rest of your life lecture anybody about wasting energy and contributing to global warming. That includes you Al Gore? Or do you need your laptops and air conditioned jets to function?

It's only one hour, after all!

Golden Opportunity

I found it amusing to read this piece at It's about how Village Roadshow are planning on expanding their "Gold Class" experience to America. Village are a popular cinema brand down here - I'd hazard a guess and say they're the biggest one - and the Village Roadshow logo occasionally appears before films as they are also a film distribution and financing company.

The Gold Class aspect has been around here for a long time and I'm surprised no American company has come up with a similar idea (the shocked response by American websites makes me assume as much). You pay a larger than normal fee, $35 for Americans apparently, and you get a more intimate cinema with fewer seats (prebooking is essential). The seats are veeery comfy, fully reclinable with footrests. The seats are in groups of two so you don't have to sit next to anyone other than your friend/partner. Before heading into the cinema you can order a drink at the bar or tapas style food and you can request certain things to be sent into you at certain times of the movie. And throughout the movie you can press a little button a waiter comes and you can ask for something.

It's all incredibly exciting for a "night out" although you wouldn't want to make a habit of going. It is way too expensive for that. I went last year for the very first time. Me and three friends saw Hairspray and it was utterly perfect. I had my drink arrive just as the movie was starting and a bowl of wedges showed up 30 minutes in (teehee). My friend received her cup of tea at the half way mark and so on. Village like to show it off as a really romantic evening, but considering the seats are separated by a table with which to place food, drinks and so on it seems like it would be hard to really get cozy together, no?

I can't say that suburbs of Chicago and Seattle would be the first places I'd think of when thinking "high class cinema going!" but I'm sure Village have more business sense than I. Somebody by the name of "fullquiver" writes in the comments that "I winced when my wife and I had to pay $12 a ticket. We usually take the whole family to the drive-in where the seven of us can see a double feature for $20!" I mean, really! This guy is obviously not the target audience of this sort of venture. Hell, I think it should be a rule that any family with five children shouldn't be allowed within half a kilometre of a cinema complex. Period.

...but that's just me.

All images from the Village Gold Class website.

Falling in Love

I've been waiting for Tarsem Singh to finally release his second feature The Fall for years now. I was blown away by his debut, the crime thriller cum elaborate sci-fi fantasy doppleganger. Ali saw it at TIFF nearly a year and a half ago! But now it seems The Fall is finally being released in America at least and Cinematical has a photo gallery up of images from the film. They all look quite spectacular, but one wonders if anything will approach the sight of Vincent D'Onofrio striding down a flight of stairs as a giant cape adorning the walls of his throneroom tumble around the perametre, Vince Vaughn's intestines being used as a makeship harp, or three corpse-like women sitting patiently in an ominously lit field or... well, pretty much the entirety of The Cell.

Below are just some of the images. I have no idea what any of them mean. That could be good or bad. Click them to enlarge.

By the way, if you haven't, please go and read Nick's (as in Nicks Flick Picks) review of The Cell from 2000. It's a corker and is a must read for anyone, whether they liked or disliked the film. Go!

Friday, March 28, 2008

But Will It Be Better Than Spiceworld?

I find it amusing that just yesterday people were mentioning in the comments of another entry about the pleasure (or lack thereof) of seeing British pop star extraordinaries Girls Aloud (they of "Biology", "Call the Shots", etc) in a movie (that'd be St Trinians, which is apparently as ghastly as it appears in the trailers). Well, now it appears that people like Adem are going to be getting their wish.

Girls Aloud are going to be making their very own movie! (via DefamerAu)

Kimberley Walsh said: "We want it to be a Friends and Sex And The City kind of thing, all morphed into one."

Well, that makes sense considering Sex and the City has four main cast members and Friends has six. Average that out and you get the magic number FIVE! Also, will it be set in New York City?

Speaking at the launch of the new KitKat Senses chocolate bar, Nicola Roberts said the filming (of St Trinians) whet their acting appetite.

Puns and KitKats! Give this journalist a Pulitzer!

"We've been given a lot of dodgy scripts - they were all awful. One of them was a horror film, where we would have been running through the woods in our underwear."

I need to see this movie NOW! That'd be amazing to see Nadine running around in her panties being hunted down by, like, Ammelle Sugababe (I wouldn't put it past her).

Looking at the hype surrounding the Sex And The City movie - and that's only with four attractive girls - a Girls Aloud movie wouldn't have anything to worry about as far as publicity was concerned.

I bet these girls were great in maths class, huh?!?

When asked what actor they would most like to work with, Nadine and Kimberley both agreed on Denzel Washington, so it looks like the film might be more action-packed then we might have thought.

Surely even those who aren't as acquainted with Girls Aloud as they should be can see how BRILLIANTLY AMAZING this quote is. I can't stop laughing at the prospect.

Scarily, the article at the Daily Mail has three comments from readers. "Like they are going to eat a life time supply of chocolate!" So true. "Nicola is so pretty!" So true and insightful. "I've just tried one. They're revolting." Either that means he's tried a Girls Aloud, but I find it hard to believe that they're revolting, or he's tasted one of these new KitKat Sense things and it's revolting. Thanks for the heads up!

I quite liked Defamer's line of thinking when it comes to what the film's plot should be.

What would've been better would be if they proposed a heart-wrenching drama about a bunch of girls from the commission flats who band together to give it one last shot at stardom before the ranga of the group dies of a Fatal Illness backstage after they've won their first Brit Award. With Ray Winstone and Judi Dench as Sarah Harding's alcoholic parents and special guest starring a fake-tanned Clive Owen as Ashley Cole.

Yes. Yes it would be better. Better and AMAZING!!! It'd be like a British version of the tried and true subgenre of person/people from the wrong side of the track using the power of music/dance/singing to pull themselves (and their nodding-with-sudden-approval parents) out of the slums and into SUCCESS! They will face many bumps along the way, but through perseverance and their uncanny ability to withstand anything that comes their way (including a handbag wielding maniac in the woods!!!) they will leave the commission flats and step out their world of grey and into a world of rainbows, bunnies and slow motion smiling. It'll be like Glitter meets Spiceworld!

I can see it now!

"When I was young I had such a vision of myself. I dreamed I'd be someone to be reckoned with, you know, in the world. But one learns one's scale. I've such a dread of ending my days alone. But recently, I've allowed myself to think that I may not be. And I think it's time you realised you'll NEVER be a star! You'll be just like me. You'll experience the drip, drip of the long-haul, no-end-in-sight solitude. You'll see what it's like to construct an entire weekend around a visit to the launderette. Or to be so chronically untouched that the accidental brush of a bus conductor's hand sends a jolt of longing straight to your groin. Because you're a poor worthless daughter of poor worthless nobodies and they never become famous."


Thursday, March 27, 2008

Don't Move The Body

I had a case of the Buffies last night and had a resounding urge to rewatch "The Body", episode 16 from season five of Buffy the Vampire Slayer. By now it's commonly accepted how good this show was, no matter how low it rated or how awards bodies shamefully ignored it in major categories, apart from one Best Actress nomination at the Golden Globes and a writing Emmy nomination for the famous "Hush" episode.

"The Body" was an episode however that should have given it Emmys, Golden Globes, SAG Awards, everything. It's one of the best single episodes of any series you'll ever find and definitely (in my eyes) the best episode of Buffy throughout it's entire seven seasons.

It is, for me, the scene at the high school though that just tears me up. I had tears reeling down my face watching it again. Such powerful filming. It still disappoints me that people question how great this series was. Plenty of more loftier and critically acclaimed series never even got near the level of mastery episodes like "The Body", "Hush" or "Once More With Feeling". It's so intimate and raw.

I really should try and rewatch the entire Buffy series again. It's been too long and I've never revisited seasons six and seven. For me season five is the best, followed by three, two, one, seven, four and six although I couldn't really tell, it's been too long. I have a big softspot for the early days when it more traditionally structured, but I can't deny that once it started getting into the more denser stuff that it became something else entirely, not merely just a great TV show. I haven't delved into the comics that have since been released. More because I'd hate to read one and then have to wait a month or two or three or however long it is before a new one is out. I'm impatient like that. I'm also impatient for another show of Buffys ilk. I really need to get those Battlestar Galactica DVDs I've been meaning to buy for a while!

This Week on Australian Screens

Cinema Releases for the Week 27/03/08

After Him - This French drama stars Catherine Deneuve as a woman who becomes friends with her dead son's best friend.

The Dinner Guest - Yet another French comedy. This time with Daniel Auteuil. Yawn. Wake me when this screens on SBS next year.

Never Back Down - Shouldn't this movie star Channing Tatum?

The Spiderwick Chronicles - This fantasy tale stars Freddie Highmore, which means I'm instantly disinterested. It's also showing in IMAX.

Step Up 2 the Streets - This was actually out last week, but I forgot. Big loss. It amuses me that the ads on TV give it a hypothetical colon after the "2".

St Trinians - Doesn't this British boarding school comedy just look awful (everybody: "Yes!") It's times like this that I shake my head in disbelief that Rupert Everett (who stars as a headmistress here) complains about the Ocean's movies being blights on society. Seriously, you're in freakin' St Trinians!

DVD Releases for the Week 27/03/08

Into the Wild - Sean Penn's movie about a young guy who decided he hated his parents for wanting to give him a car once he finished college. Most people should be so lucky! The kid then decides to put his family through hell by not telling them that he's going "into the wild" with no experience or knowledge. Oh, and apparently he's a "hero" or something. :/

Lions for Lambs - Robert Redford directs himself, Meryl Streep and Tom Cruise in this talky talky politico drama. Snooze central, apparently.

Wednesday, March 26, 2008

Nobody Likes Ewan McGregor

That's the impression I'm getting from this new poster for Deception, which I wrote about recently. I can't quite fathom why they would get rid of Ewan's face from the poster. I say "face" because, well, his forehead is there (including that mole/bump thingy that he has since had removed, right?) and some of his hair too, but his face is all hidden away in Michelle Williams' neck. Did all the press Williams got recently make the designers think she was a more sellable comodity than McGregor?

Other than that it just looks like a general "thriller" poster, doesn't it?

Tuesday, March 25, 2008

100 Greatest Movie Posters: #35 - Lolita

Lolita (1962)
Directed by Stanley Kubrick
Unknown Designer
Film Nationality - UK
Poster Nationality - UK

[click to enlarge]

Comments coming soon. Too sick right now, I just wanted to throw this up (I've been doing a bit of that already today, BAM!)

Monday, March 24, 2008

What's Talent Got to Do With It?

In this case? A lot!

Let it be known that Angela freakin' Bassett, who finally received a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame, received her star nearly one year to the day after Halle Berry. The key word there being "after". Can some director out there, whether they be a seasoned bigshot or a buzzed newcomer, give this glorious beauty a big role to really get her teeth into? Her last great performance was in 2002's Sunshine State. She needs another 92/93 when she had the Tina Turner biopic What's Love Got to Do With It? and Spike Lee's Malcolm X. I'd give for another Strange Days, even.

Alas, the same weekend she received her Star on the Walk of Fame, her movie Meet the Browns debuted at No. 2 at the US box office. I'd be happy for her if it weren't a Tyler Perry movie. Not exactly quaking with anticipation for that one.

Sunday, March 23, 2008

Shia... Car Wash... Something Something...

There are few young male celebrities who can make me act like a 15-year-old girl all giggling and flustered and the like. They're normally all just so pretty in the bland sort of way. I wouldn't know a Chase from a Paul from a Jonas. But Shia LaBeouf? Well, I get giggly and start acting like a rambling idiot (even moreso than usual).

For whatever reason.

And so, now, I present to you pictures of Shia at a car wash for absolutely no reason other than a) He's Shia and b) He's wearing a plain white shirt and jeans. And, again for some unknown reason, there's something incredibly sexy with a white tee and jeans. I think it has to do with Jimmy Dean. Yes. I think so.

All images can be clicked to enlarge.

Courtesy of JustJared (click for more).

Hey, I never said there wasn't a... trend (yeah, that's the word) to these images.

Juliette Binoche is Talented

Even moreso than I realised. It turns out she's also a poet. How lovely. She wrote this for Anthony Minghella, the man who directed her to an Oscar (for The English Patient) as well as Breaking and Entering.

To Anthony

I shall learn to live without you.
With all we’ve done and undone
with all the missing parts I’ll have to carry on hoping
you were the bedrock of fun, the laugh that made me laugh
and your hand came with love and care
I could see your thoughts going faster and faster
ahead in their curved complex understanding
your excitements became my excitement in the joy of sharing
my friend of art
you’ve gone missing
we shared a heart beating in this inner world of creation
and your ideas became real to me
I was your angel and you opened my wings
and you were the words I could fly into
my friend of heart
I will carry the unsaid
I will cherish my forgiveness until I see you
and please forgive me for my painful silence
magnetic eyes of yours with its sparkling needles
we dared a gift to the unknown
the search for truth in the battle of being
we attempted a glimpse on the other side
with joy with joy


Saturday, March 22, 2008

100 Greatest Movie Posters: #36 - All About Eve

All About Eve (1950)
Directed by Joseph Mankiewicz
Poster Designed by Eric Nitsche
Film Nationality - USA
Poster Nationality - USA

[click to enlarge]

I actually think this design for Joseph Mankiewicz' Oscar-winning All About Eve was for a rerelease, but I can't be sure. Either way, it's still a great design. Playful and to the spirit of the movie. That tagline "It's all about women... and their men!" is perfect! And it actually feels like a comedy when you look at it, as opposed to some of the other designs out there.

I also love that they managed to get Marilyn Monroe on the poster, despite the fact that she's barely in the film. Definitely marketing themselves with all they have, huh?

Vincent Promises

I watched David Cronenberg's Eastern Promises the other night. I liked it well enough - about the same as Cronenberg's much more lauded A History of Violence, actually - but you know what I would have prefered? If they had taken the whole Vincent Cassel-wants-to-root-Viggo-Mortensen angle and made a whole movie about that! Yummy. And because this is my blog (so who's gonna stop me?) here is a bunch of pictures of Vincent. All those scenes where it looked like his Russian mobster may attach himself to Viggo's face? I just wanted them to so bad!

Maybe it's a sign of my feelings towards the movie that it was that scenario that kept ruminating throughout my mind. Hmmm...

All images from
And, of course, this being Vincent Cassel, finding NSFW images ain't exactly hard. They're so easy to find, in fact, that I'm just gonna link you straight to 'em. Here ya go! Isn't the world a better place for having him in it?

Friday, March 21, 2008

How Deceptive!

The trailer for Deception is finally up over at MSN Video via My New Plaid Pants. Never heard of it? It's probably because it's gone by many different titles. It was originally Untitled Hugh Jackman Project for the longest time on IMDb, it's gone by The List as well as The Tourist. Only the former seems to make sense from what we see in the trailer (which is too much, so be warned).

Aaanyway. Who cares about all that when it is Hugh Jackman + Ewan McGregor + Sex Club?! There's all sorts of yummy right there. Here's hoping Hugh doesn't ruin his run of taking off his shirt in every single movie! I mean, this one has a sex club in it, surely he must get semi-naked at some point! It just worries me that they don't show it in the trailer. Hmmm. There is also Michelle Williams playing some sort of mysterious blonde.

And, omg, Lisa Gay Hamilton! I'm super psyched to finally see Lisa Gay Hamilton in something again. She's been stuck in "Guest Star" mode since the end of The Practice and a couple of movies nobody saw or cared about. She also has Joe Wright's (Atonement) next movie The Soloist on her resume so maybe she's finally getting back into the game!

"Too early for the 'c-word'?"

I had the pleasure of taking in a show last night at the Melbourne Comedy Festival. Stephen K Amos at the Town Hall, and it is a riot! If you have the chance to see him perform, make sure you do. I felt like I really needed this, too because the early parts of his act are essentially mocking brainless idiots (or "early man" as he calls them) and the last few days I have been privy to more brainless idiots than I care to acknowledge. Even on the train ride up to Melbourne this lady who I had never seen before in my life came up to me and started asking questions about who I like to have sex with. Like I said; brainless idiots.

And doesn't everyone like a good Adelaide joke?

So, yes, make sure you get along to see his show. It's an hour of laugh-out-loud comedy.

Thursday, March 20, 2008

This Week on Australian Screens

Cinema Releases for the Week 20/03/08

Be Kind Rewind - I've seemingly had it in for Michel Gondry's (Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind) latest ever since it was conceived. I thought that they'd be able to explain it, but apparently they do not. Hmmph. Although, every time I think of "Be Kind Rewind" I think of that bit from Notorious C.H.O. where Margaret Cho describes the incident where her boyfriend forgot to return Beaver Fever and now everyone at her video store knows her as a Beaver Fever Lady. And, well, that makes me smile.

Brick Lane - A British film about Bangladeshi imigrants. Received a bunch of nominations from various British award bodies.

Drillbit Taylor - Yeah, whatever.

Hannah Montana/Miley Cyrus: Best of Both Worlds Concert Tour 3D - What an unweildly title, huh? I'm not sure how many Australian cinemas have the ability to screen 3D, but I had to go all the way to Melbourne just to see last year's Beowulf. Something needs to be done about that, considering there are more and more 3D specific films (ie, not like Beowulf which are 2D and 3D) coming out.

Hey Hey it's Esther Blueburger - An Australian comedy about a young jewish girl who doesn't tell her parents she has dropped out of her private school and is attenting a public school where she quickly becomes friends with (of all people) Keisha Castle-Hughes. Toni Collette plays Hughes' mother. It's obviously going for Looking for Alibrandi sized box office numbers, we'll see if they get it.

Horton Hears a Who! - Animated Suess flick with Jim Carrey, Steve Carell and Seth Rogan. Apatow's gang are even taking over animation!

DVD Releases for the Week 20/03/08

Across the Universe - Julie Taymor's (Titus, Frida) Beatles musical. I may or may not have words to say about it, I watched it yesterday.

Beowulf and Grendel - The other Beowulf movie. The Canadian one. The one with Gerard Butler, Academy Award-Nominee Sarah Polley and Stellan Skarsgaard.

Eastern Promises - Viggo Mortensen got an Oscar nomination for his role in this Russian mob film by David Cronenberg also starring Naomi Watts. I wasn't incredibly impressed, but it was good enough.

Gabriel - A silly Australian action flick about angels battling demons... or something. I watched it this morning and I couldn't understand what was going on most of the time, so I feel sorry for international audiences who may pick this up from their local DVD store. Was Dwaine Stevenson's "Sammael" not the most '80s retro villain you've ever seen outside of a film made in the 1980s?

Hallam Foe - All you need to know is that it stars Jamie Bell. And he gets nekkid, oh yes.

The Heartbreak Kid - A Farrelly Bros. remake of an Elaine May flick. With Ben Stiller. Yikes.

Michael Clayton - Starring George Clooney, Tom Wilkinson and recent Academy Award-winner Tilda Swinton. That last bit makes me so freakin' happy!!

Rescue Dawn - Wender Hertzog adapts his own documentary - Little Deiter Needs to Fly - into this drama starring Christian Bale and Steve Zahn. Yet another in a long line of Bale performances that got great press and then nada comes award season.

Saw IV - I... got nothing.

The Seeker: The Dark is Rising - I... got nothing.

Skinwalkers - I... got nothing.

Perceptions on Persepolis

I was reading this article at Yahoo and I just... AAAAGH! It's all about how the French film Persepolis - a black and white film about a girl growing up in Iran and France - is being rereleased in America with an English-language dub. Isn't that nice? Just delightful, no? Now not only have smart Americans been able to see Persepolis, but also stupid Americans who can't read!

Yet, lo and behold, the film - a recent Oscar nominee for Best Animated Feature - has yet to receive an Australian release, with word claiming it's to be released in July or August. The film was originally released in France back in June 2007!

Look, it's not like to don't understand the mechanics of film distribution. If Persepolis was some movie that got minimal buzz on the festival circuit and hadn't won awards then I would understand. It happens all the time. And I don't even care if those sorts of movies go direct-to-DVD. But, Persepolis is an Academy Award-nominee! It is a Golden Globe-nominee. It's a French Cesar Award-winner. It's a Cannes Film Festival-winner. So I don't understand in the slightest why whoever it is who is distributing it would want to hold on to it. It's not like there's any competition for it in the marketplace.

This is the exact same reason why I never saw Sherrybaby or Half Nelson or a bunch of other films that received major buzz and/or awards and nominations. Gone Baby Gone hasn't been released here yet, either!

Oh, but I suppose I really shouldn't complain that about stuff like this. Who cares about The Painted Veil never being released here when, hello, we get Drillbit Taylor a whole day before America did. GO US!


Glenn Models the Latest Fall Fashions

Bitch should be a model!

Because nothing says "come over and say 'Hi!' as we mingle at this delightful summer garden party" than wearing a shirt emblazened with the logo of a serial killing television character, does it not?

I bought season one of Dexter today and was surprised to see it came with a free t-shirt. Isn't that lovely?

Tuesday, March 18, 2008

100 Greatest Movie Posters: #37 - Cleopatra Jones and the Casino of Gold

Cleopatra Jones and the Casino of Gold (1975)
Directed by Chuck Bail
Unknown Designer
Film Nationality - USA
Poster Nationality - USA

[click to enlarge]

In my travels while researching this countdown I tried to pay attention to genres with "ploitation" in the title, because I've always found they have a style to them that I really like. The blaxploitation genre, however, didn't yield too many contenders. Far and away one of my favourites though was this design for Cleopatra Jones and the Casino of Gold (the other is coming up later). I've seen the original Cleopatra Jones and didn't care for it. This poster goes a helluva long way to making me want to see the sequel, though.

It's playful with the preconceptions of the genre - big booty, big guns - and colourful in execution. The montage of images next to Tamara Dobson's Cleopatra Jones actually works, which is rarely does, because it helps to get the audience psyched up for what they're going to see. Roullette and helicopters? As opposed to when other posters do it and it's just a collection of characters shoved onto the design.

Plus, that tagline is gold!

RIP Anthony Minghella

I don't have the energy right now to write much about the terrible death of British film director Anthony Minghella. I was a fan of his, I even liked his 2006 film Breaking and Entering, when I know many others hated it. I was looking forward to No. 1 Ladies Detective Agency with Jill Scott and had only just rewatched The Talented Mr Ripley a few days ago (still a great great movie). Such a terrible loss.

The Stupid One

Coming to a movie like The Brave One late is a bit useless, really. All the good discussion has already been had by people who exchange spoilers like they do five cent coins. I had steered clear of it all, wanting to experience this apparently quite polarising (and bipolar, I might add) film by Neil Jordan and starring Jodie Foster as a woman on a vigilante mission. It's a film that needs to be discussed with a warning staring *SPOILERS*SPOILERS* because there is no way to really describe how ridiculous it all is without divulging various facts about the film.

The Brave One felt off for me from the opening moments. Foster's character extols the sort of self help garbage on her radio show that makes sophisticated people weak, and as soon as she finishes she gets up, takes her headphones off and leaves. Even the highest paid radio hosts can't finish that quickly. It's a weird criticism, I know, but it set me off. Another sequence involving radio ratings was also bewildering in it's complete lack of knowledge.

Following this though are scenes of Foster and her boyfriend, played by Naveen Andrews, acting like lovesick puppies covered in bows and ribbons attending their Junior Prom (or, the movie version of such an event, Australia don't have no proms). As much as I love Foster, not even she can make these big giant broad gooey moments work. Not to mention a waste of Jane Adams who appears for a brief moment here and later on in the film. Why exactly they cast Adams I'm not sure.

Of course, Foster and Andrews decide to take their dog for a walk in Central Park at night, which all but sends the film into depressing black and white. I've walked through Central Park at night, it was scary. Walking through any park at night is scary. Yet these two seem to be so nonchalant about it all. The moment these two are confronted by hysteric bloodthirsty thugs is strange, too. Are all random thieves this unfazed by killing one and nearly a second? Same goes for the guys on the train later in the film? "Ever been fucked by a knife" one of them asks? Foster's character has the worst luck!

From the scene where she awakes in hospital we go through the typical things. Her fear of leaving her apartment is represented by obvious camerawork and sound design (the sinking ship effect, where the camera work makes you feel like you're on the high seas representing unease) while Foster grimaces a whole lot. Naturally she purchases a gun and, yet again, heads straight into a dangerous situation, this time a convenient store. At night. For a woman who has just recovered from a severe attack and who appears to be scared of anything and everything, her ease at going into any store at night is a headscratcher. Naturally she is confronted with yet another cold-blooded killer who she promptly kills off.

It's actually from this moment on - well, no, it's more after the next scene with the two black knife rapists - where the film actually hits its stride. Foster starts nailing the broad stylings of her character and Jordan wisely decides to create a friendship for Foster's character with that of a detective played by Terrence Howard. They get many scenes to strut their stuff, with no over-the-top histrionics to get in the way. Where the only things you can hear are their voices.

Of course, all the good work comes almost impossible wrong in the final moments as Foster manages to track down those who attacked her and her fiance (there's a touching moment where the wedding invitations arrive at her doorstep - when she picked up the package I thought she must've ordered more ammo considering she never seems to run out!) Ruthlessly hunting them down through the labyrinthine halls and alleys of an apartment block she is interrupted by Howard's character who does a complete about face and not only makes sure she murders the final assailant (he's even kind enough to show her the proper method, bliss) but also makes certain she shoots him as well as a means of protecting herself.

I KNOW! It's complicated.

It's all incredibly ridiculous and I could barely believe my eyes. I shot straight up and gasped. Then I laughed and yelled "that's stupid!" And so Foster's character carries on for another day, giving out friendly advice to morons who really enjoy listening to a tortured woman discuss how buildings are springing up like DNA (or whatever the analogy is that she comes up with). How could Foster and Jordan - world class talents, obviously - think this was anywhere close to a good ending? It makes a mockery of not only everything that came before it, but also everything that we know about movies. Although, thinking about it in retrospect, much like another woman-getting-revenge pic, Kill Bill, The Brave One seems to exist inside it's own made up world where people are either hopelessly sweet or nihilistically evil. So while the ending wouldn't pass muster in anything resembling the real world, I suppose in the world where every single Manhattan driver apparently listens to dreary self-help radio in the middle of the day, the end is entirely plausible.

Or not. C- (that ending though? F!)

Oh, I totally forgot to mention the worst part about the whole thing, other than that silly ending. Nicky "Christ on a cracker" Katt. Not necessarily the performance, but the role. Yikes. What a mess.

100 Greatest Movie Posters: #38 - Out of Sight

Out of Sight (1998)
Directed by Steven Soderbergh
Poster Designed by BLT
Film Nationality - USA
Poster Nationality - USA

[click to enlarge]

I don't remember Steven Soderbergh's Out of Sight being a retro throwback, but I love the poster for being so. I wish more posters had borders, don't you? I'm not sure why, I just love the look of borders. Classier, perhaps? And, also, quote marks around the title! For some reason I get a kick out of that. I love the colours, I love the poses, I love the set out of the text and I love they didn't just put a shot of Clooney mug looking suave. I just love the whole thing.

Do The Lambada

On last Sunday's episode of SYTYCD Camilla (who has since been eliminated) and Anthony performed the lambada. Watching their performance set to the tune of "Not In Love" by Enrique Iglesias just made me sad that they didn't use the actual lambada song by Kaoma. To make up for the grievous error here is the clip. I was totally obsessed with this song for a while, Braz Loalwa totally fascinated me! "Lambada" and Richard Marx were all I could think about for about five weeks in 1990.

Rewatching this now though I see the overt sexuality of it all!

Monday, March 17, 2008

I Am Bruce Springsteen

No, really I am! Facebook tells me so. I don't tend to do these sorts of quizzes because it's usually about finding out what sort of tree you are or what flavour lollipop your spirit is. And, quite frankly, I don't give a rats arse what kind of insect I was in a past life, but I wanted to see about this one, and this is what I got!

Now y'all know I worshop The Boss - next to "Religious Views" on my Facebook profile I have listed "Bruce Springsteen is my God", which says a lot. That also means that I am God! Which could lead to all sorts of crazy shenanigans.

Bruce and I are linked by cosmic forces, obviously.