Monday, September 17, 2012

So Many Chainsaw Massacres in Texas!

So, the trailer was recently released for the seventh entry in the Texas Chainsaw Massacre franchise. These massacres just keep happening and there is apparently nothing we can do about it! Of course, the makers of this edition - curiously titled simply Texas Chainsaw 3D - have skirted the issue by claiming this is a direct, the one and only true sequel to Tobe Hooper's groundbreaking 1974 masterpiece original. Not that you'd know it from looking at it, as John Luessenhop's film looks to mimic the style of Platinum Dunes' "remake" and that film's prequel. I'm a huge fan of Marcus Nispel's high gloss chainsaw apocalypse from 2003 (less so the prequel, but it's far from the worst entry of the series), but why this film is supposedly aping that film's style so obviously - even the trailer is paced identically, including the fake out "oh shit, so that's what this is a trailer for" beginning - when it's not made by the same company, and is more or less disregarding it to craft its own timeline, is perplexing.

I'll always be there for a new Chainsaw flick, I really will. The first film is genuinely one of the two or three scariest films I've ever seen, and perhaps the best horror movie ever made. Even though the sequels are generally all awful, there's something about the downright terrifying idea that will always provoke some sort of response from me. Good or bad, these films never leave me with a shrug.

Set some 30 years after the original (I assume that's not just a failed attempt at 1974 chic, right?), Texas Chainsaw 3D (who needs words like "Massacre", or "The", really?) sees a midriff-baring relative of the Sawyer clan inherit a house that was built on land owned by her family. Or something. I'm not really sure how that works. I mean, the house featured here certainly isn't the same one from The Texas Chain Saw Massacre, ya know? Maybe Leatherface and company upgraded in the early '80s before they got caught? Maybe they really like billiards? Whatever. Naturally, Leatherface is still hanging around and even pushing 60 (surely?) he's able to swing that rusty blade around with aplomb as these nubile, semi-naked teens strut about his homestead. Or maybe it's "Son of Leatherface" and the makers just didn't want to make audiences burst out into hysterical lulz during the trailer. Third act twist, here we come!

Look, as I said, I'll see it, but I just find the entire thing so weird. One of the franchise's greatest assets has been that each entry has its own style, whether it be authentic documentary styled, glossy piss-stained Hollywood look, grungy redneck slasher, bizarro world comedy... This one seems to have none at all. The house seems to mirror that of the remake, as does the exterior location with the car. Even angles and shots seems to replicate that of Nispel's film, not to mention the inclusion of a scene where the screamy friend and the level-headed final girl are trapped in a van being stalked by the killer, as well as one of Leatherface showing off his sowing skills. Is this a remake of the remake, perhaps?

I like the idea of Leatherface venturing into populated territory - there appears to be a shot of one character being chased on the steps of a town hall like building, as well as a fairground sequence - and the 3D aspect should certainly be eye-catching (eye gouging? eye tearing?) to say the least. The return of Marilyn Burns and Gunner Hansen also piques my interest. I'm very skeptical, but maybe there's something to it that they're holding back. I certainly can't say I wouldn't appreciate a surprise or two.

Also: How dumb must you be to hide in a freakin' buried coffin? Answer: very!

Lastly: How great is the poster up top? Answer: very!

Hi-res images via Bloody Disgusting


Gregory Roy said...

I'm on the fence about this one.

I love the original TCM and think its surely one of the most terrifying movies ever made, and I also remember seeing the 2003 version when I was 12 or so and being horribly frightened.

But I feel like whenever people get the idea of making a horror film in 3D, it automatically becomes more about blood and gore and stuff flying out towards the audience then actual terror and suspense.

That's just me though.

Remington said...

Thank you for pointing out its resemblance to the remake!!! That scene with the two girls in the van-what's with that?! I completely agree with everything you said. I love the idea of Leatherface chasing a girl out in public-especially if it's at a fair but I hate that a girl was dumb enough to hide in a coffin. I don't know, I'm curious about this one. I loved the original and I loved the remake and its prequel which I think is vastly underrated. This one should be interesting.