Friday, December 16, 2011

Dracula is a Work in Progress

Sometimes a YouTube video comes along that has the ability to genuinely surprise. I had read what Jason from My New Plaid Pants had to say about this work in progress "trailor" for Dario Argento's Dracula 3D, but not even that could make me anticipate what I was about to watch, really. The following video truly is one of the worst, silliest, most ridiculous and all 'round funniest videos I've seen in ages. I stared at my computer screen with a look of such complete horror from the music alone (it sounds like 1950s sci-fi!), but when the AMAZINGLY BAD CGI BIRD came flying at the screen the lulz were neverending.

Now, I know it says "visual effects work in progress" on the screen whenever a particularly dodgy moment of computer graphics occurs (so, basically, all of it), but I kinda wish they would just quit while they're ahead and allow Dracula 3D to become the camp comedy classic that it is so obviously meant to be. My bellowing laugh was given quite a workout as I watched all these actors (Thomas Kretschmann and Asia Argento amongst them) bark and hiss at one another for two and a half minutes whilst spilling blood everywhere and walking around in particularly cheap-looking thrift store costumes. I mean, my gosh, what is up with the scene of a giant praying mantis gobbling down a man? Or what's with random throwaway shots that have seemingly nothing to do with anything like the horse or the naked lady being thrown to the ground? Oh, the acting! The acting! Is that Rutger Hauer continuing on from his awful Hobo with a Shotgun performance?

My favourite bit in the entire "trailor" is at the 55 second mark when Kretschmann seems to be screaming, but sounds more like he's trying to clear his throat. But then there is, of course, the praying mantis, the hilarious 3D that looks like outtakes from Friday the 13th: Part III, Hauer maneuvering some pullies at the 1:55 mark, and the ridiculous display of acting at 1:36. Truly magic stuff, wouldn't you agree?

1 comment:

JA said...

I am OBSESSED. I watched this thing five times last night. I don't want them to fix anything for the final movie - I need "VISUAL EFFECTS WORK IN PROGRESS" to be slapped across the entire running time of the final version. Thomas Kretschmann screaming "He is mine!!!" The face that Asia makes as she attacks! Oh it's all so glorious I can't even stand it.