Tuesday, April 12, 2011

Give me a C for Cheerleader Camp!

We're not just about the Scream movies here at Stale Popcorn. No sir. We apparently also enjoy watching movies called Cheerleader Camp, and that can't be all bad, surely! Made in the halcyon days of 1988, Cheerleader Camp was the first feature directed by John Quinn. He would go on to direct The Key to Sex, Sex Court: The Movie, Playboy: Girls of the Hard Rock, Hotel & Casino Las Vegas and multiple episodes of Passion Cove; whatta treasure trove! If Cheerleader Camp is famous for anything then it's surely the bonza poster that features a cheerleader with a skull head, bearing her under-cleavage and shouting "GIVE ME A K!" etc. Amazing stuff.

Within 20 minutes of Cheerleader Camp I tweeted that it was nothing more than softcore porn with red paint splashed about (otherwise known as "italian blood"). Little did I know that, judging from his resume, that is exactly what the directed intended. In fact, it reminded me a lot of that Margaret Cho bit where she talks about how the men in straight porn are the most repulsive men on the planet, lest straight men get turned on? Yeah, that's Cheerleader Camp; women in various states of undress and the only men are disgusting and ugly and just repellent. Blech!

Cheerleader Camp starred Betsy Russell as some sort of crazy cheerleader who attends a camp with her team (of five?) to... to do what, I'm not too sure. Apparently they do a routine at some point and then the "Queen" is announced after a frightening beauty pageant event. It's all very strange and the death scenes aren't exactly thrilling stuff until the final half hour where the film finally understands what it is.

How about the fashions? Those are hilarious!

Or Betsy's dream sequences that tend to feature pom poms made of razor blades (the movie's original title was Bloody Pom Poms)!

Vickie Benson is there as a demented camp coach! Who's Vickie Benson? Well, her other roles include "Bikini Girl" in Private Resort, "Party Girl" in My Chauffeur and "Waitress" The Wraith (hey, I know that title!)

Cheerleader Camp really isn't a good movie at all. It's boring chit chat between jealous cheerleaders and lame deaths. I mean, I know it was the 1980s, but... really? This?

It gets better towards the end when it ditches all the boring talk and focuses on what's really important: stupid teenagers heading into the woods by themselves to investigate where their friend disappeared to. And even though I picked the culprit from the opening scene, the reveal was still a hoot. I dunno, let's call it a C- and be done with it.

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