Wednesday, November 10, 2010

Spread Eagle

There is nothing about this trailer for The Eagle (below) that doesn't make me think it will be stupid and preposterous and, quite frankly, really bloody awful! Everything from the accents (or lack thereof) to the ridiculous plot, from Channing Tatum to Kevin Macdonald. Alas, I will watch it. Why? Well, we've covered this before: JAMIE BELL PLAYS A SLAVE!

Now, really, is there anybody out there who thinks this actually looks good? In an actual proper way, not in a "the homosexual overtones will provide enjoyment, as will reading all the awkward teen boys' comments online afterwards" way. I agree that the homoerotic vibe of the entire project could be wildly humourous, but this is Kevin Macdonald we're talking about here and, let's face it, he's hardly the man I would go to to direct something even the slightest bit camp. Knowing or otherwise.

I like how that bit at the end with the cart flipping over is this film's version of the truck flipping over in The Dark Knight, as if that's the big stunt they're going to utilise heavily as their "whoa, cool!" moment. I also wonder whose idea it was to change the title from The Eagle of the Ninth to simply The Eagle. Good god, what a bland title!

Nevertheless, my love for Jamie Bell knows almost no bounds (I even saw Jumper), so I can't see any reason why I won't subject myself to another one of Kevin Macdonald's retched attempts at this whole "filmmaking" business (the day he goes back to documentaries will be a good day indeed). I mean, The Eagle features a scene in which Bell tells Channing Tatum to "get on [his] knees." It's practically begging for the audience's mind to wander towards less wholesome deeds, is it not?

"Who, me?"

Yes, you!

Here are some more moments from the trailer that I liked. Needless to say, I have a one track mind.

Meanwhile, Jason over at My New Plaid Pants was nice enough to screencap the gorgeous trailer for Jane Eyre (the fabulous poster to which we looked at the other day) and, naturally, this is the one that piqued my interest most of all!

Quelle surprise, I know!


A1 said...


Anthony Mai said...

Honestly, I'd watch Jamie Bell in anything!!!

P.s. For some odd reason I can't say the words "Jamie Bell" without singing it in the "Baby Born! Baby Born!" tune... Or alternatively the tune from the Babybel ads (cheese).

richardwatts said...

Oh dear. It does look bad. Especially the 'Picts' in their strange grey body makeup. Whatever happened to woad?

Legend Rivera said...

I'll wait for HBO. Although, it is nice to see Jamie butching it up a bit, there's something about Channing that just turns me away.

Janice said...

I adore Jamie Bell but God, please, make him hire a agent with a clue and get his career on track.