Tuesday, September 21, 2010

The First 33 Seconds are Bad. So Is the Rest, It Would Seem

When I heard about Ron Howard's The Dilemma I thought it was nice that he was finally going back to making comedy. I think Howard's best movie is Parenthood after all. The two leads of Vince Vaughn and Kevin James did not inspire hope, but with Jennifer Connelly, Winona Ryder and Queen Latifah amongst the supporting players I was thinking quality potential was there.

And then I saw the trailer. After the first 33 seconds I was abhorred. Then after the next 39 seconds I was repulsed. And then after the rest of it I wanted to stab Ron Howard in the face, be found guilty, get sent to prison, get out 9 years later on good behaviour, travel to Hollywood, find Ron Howard and stab him in the face again.



Truly, what a repugnant, foul, cretinous movie The Dilemma looks to be. Of course Jennifer Connelly looks like she plays a boring ol' fuddy duddy, of course Winona Ryder plays a villainous liar, of course Queen Latifah is accepting a pay check for doing nothing, of course these unattractive men can stag hot, sexy wives and of course Vince Vaughn and Kevin James are playing Vince Vaughn and Kevin James like they do all the time. Jokes about things being "gay" (but not "homosexual gay" just "my parents are chaperoning the dance gay" - whatever that means), grotesque displays of male idiocy as some sort of applaudable achievement and dialogue written by someone (Allan Loeb who co-wrote Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps) who thinks "I got serious lady wood" is funny.

Watching it for a second time, or attempting to, I nearly gagged (actual near vomit) at Vaughn's air guitar routine. I had to turn it off it's SO BAD. Truly a disgusting waste of two and a half minutes.

Ron Howard? Consider yourself stabbed.

2 comments:

Joel said...

I'm glad I'm not the only one...
It reminds me of Grown Ups, in that I'd much prefer a film about the wives of the characters than the film about their husbands...

Walter L. Hollmann said...

Oh my God, as soon as that trailer opened with the gay-not-homosexual joke, I was turned off. How long could this movie possibly be? Is it 90 minutes of Vince Vaughn "hilariously" asking strangers what he should do? Are there more idiotic tangents re: poison ivy? Will anyone actually be upset over the fact that Winona Ryder would choose CHANNING TATUM over Kevin James? This trailer makes me so ANGRY!