Tuesday, July 6, 2010

Not-So-Supergirl

I have a confession to make: I have never seen any of the original Superman films! The very first "Superman" property I ever saw was, naturally, the Lois and Clark TV series from the 1990s. Other than that I had only seen the 2006 movie that was a load of old tosh. I'm not sure if Jeannot Szwarc's notorious 1984 flop Supergirl is an official entry in the Superman series, but I watched it today and it was... not good.

Can I just say how strange that poster up there is? I mean, she never even visits New York City! It makes no sense! GAH!


Truly, Supergirl is an awful, awful movie. As I tweeted throughout, I seriously hadn't much of any idea as to what these frighteningly odd characters were up to with their smoke monsters and witchcraft and overlords and spells and lord knows what else the makers threw into this monstrous affair. Of course, much of my frustration with the "Superman" character (and, obviously, "Supergirl" in this movie) is that I cannot suspect my belief enough to really believe nobody can tell the difference between the real and super version of the character. Truly. I can suspect my belief long enough to believe in characters like Wolverine or the horrors of The Evil Dead, but make me believe nobody can tell the difference between these characters because of a curl of hair or change of hair colour? Impossible. And it just infuriates me to no end.

If the film has any saving grace - and I'd be lying if I didn't think it had some - then it is definitely Faye Dunaway and Brenda Vaccaro as the main villain and her somewhat lesbian witchery partner. Dunaway is just... well, she's outta this world, which is appropriate. She's loony. Vaccaro as the intended comic relief (Dunaway does enough of that so she really wasn't necessary) was clearly just showing up to set each day as a laugh and it shows. Just look at the two of 'em!






Of course, the other good thing about Superman was being able to watch Hart Bochner. He's as dumb as a post and his face is kinda reminiscent of John Travolta from "back in the day", but he has an endearing charm about him. That is when he isn't just showing off his body. And since I did a google and found next to no evidence of this, I though I would rectify that. Tada!






Other than that it's really a piss poor movie. Two hours (!!!) of dull, visually bland "Superman for girls", which really isn't much fun even if Dunaway and Vaccaro are trying their hardest. This came several years after Dunaway (wrongfully) became the brunt of jokes for her Mommie Dearest performance so she was probably just taking any part that was offered to her. And, just because it kinda proves how inept some of Supergirl truly is...


Oh dear (she's meant to be flying). D+

7 comments:

Ben Rylan said...

I could get all "fanboy" about this as, yes, I do have a tendency to get like that about the super-franchise. But no. Instead I shall agree; Supergirl is a horrid film!! The script was changed during filming though, apparently the original version was a little more cohesive (Selena was meant to go back to Argo with Supergirl). Even Helen Slater said she had no idea what was going on.

Blame the director. His commentary on the special edition DVD says it all; he actually admits to not knowing where Supergirl got her costume.

On another self-indulgent note; I was in a geek shop in LA once and bought some Supergirl collector cards. Upon paying, the shop lady remarked that Helen Slater was in that very shop only days earlier buying the same cards!!! Apparently she was on her way to a convention and needed something to sign and hand out to fans. This is exciting to me!

Anonymous said...

Never seen Supergirl but I did see Superman and Superman 2 in the cinemas when it was initially released. I was very young but enjoyed both films very much. The special effects at the time were amazing but the great thing was the humour.

Zev Valancy said...

Every summer, a theatre company in Chicago does a weekly series of staged readings of the scripts of a variety of terrible movies. They did Supergirl last week, and I tragically missed it. However, tomorrow night is "The Apple", and I will do my damnedest to go.

JA said...

You need to see Superman and Superman 2, Glenn, like yesterday. Margot Kidder! Gene Hackman! Valerie effin' Perrine! And the disco trio of evil in Part 2! LOVE.

Anyway I agree with you on all points regarding Supergirl, but I could watch it a thousand times even though it's so damn lousy. Lousy with fun!

And somebody sometime gave Mr. Bochner his fair shake one time...

Solo said...

But why is The Apple terrible?

Volvagia said...

Because he's not talking about the Iranian film or the Star Trek episode. He's talking about the clearly cheesy musical sci-fi film.

Anonymous said...

LOVE this movie, Supergirl ROCKS!!! they should do a remake of it though!! xox