Sunday, March 7, 2010

Completely Pointless and Predictable Oscar Nominations

So, I had planned to do this much earlier, but I've been without the Internet for a couple of days due to a mix of continuous waiting for my new ADSL2 connection to kick in, pre-paid internet running out and big vicious storms here in Melbourne meaning turning on the computer was a big no-no. Now it's Sunday evening and I cannot be entirely bothered. I'm totally psyched for the awards tomorrow - live from 12.30pm, repeated later (but probably edited just like last year when the screenplay categories were dumped! - and will be live-tweeting over on my Twitter page (obviously) if you would like my hilarious*, unique^ and excessive** minute-by-minute observations.

Anywhere, here are my predictions in completely un-spectacular style.

BEST PICTURE
Will Win: The Hurt Locker
Alternate: Avatar
My Vote: An Education or Precious, depending on the mood of the day.

BEST DIRECTOR
Will Win: Kathryn Bigelow, The Hurt Locker
Alternate: Quentin Tarantino, Inglourious Basterds
My Vote: Kathryn Bigelow, The Hurt Locker

BEST ACTOR
Will Win: Jeff Bridges, Crazy Heart
Alternate: Colin Firth, A Single Man
My Vote: Colin Firth

I should note that I have not seen Crazy Heart.

BEST ACTRESS
Will Win: Sandra Bullock, The Blind Side
Alternate: Gabourey Sidibe, Precious: Based on the Novel "Push" by Sapphire
My Vote: Gabourey Sidibe or Carey Mulligan, depending on the mood of the day.

I do think this is between Sandra and Gabourey rather than Sandra and Meryl, but there ya go. How anyone can watch Gabby's "nobody love me" scene and vote for either Bullock or Streep is just absurd.

BEST SUPPORTING ACTOR
Will Win: Christoph Waltz, Inglourious Basterds
Alternate: Really? LOL!
My Vote: Christoph Waltz

BEST SUPPORTING ACTRESS
Will Win: Mo'Nique, Precious: Based on the Novel "Push" by Sapphire
Alternate: HAHAHAH YOU ARE VERY FUNNY FOR SUGGESTING THIS, GLENN!
My Vote: Mo'Nique, Precious: Based on the Novel "Push" by Sapphire

BEST ORIGINAL SCREENPLAY
Will Win: Quentin Tarantino, Inglourious Basterds
Alternate: Mark Boal, The Hurt Locker
My Vote: Quentin Tarantino, Inglourious Basterds

Obviously this could go either way, but I think they err on the side of fame. Plus, maybe they'll see Mark Boal is a nominated producer and that he gets a statue if it wins Best Picture so, perhaps, they won't vote for him here? Nah. Whatever. I just really wanna see Tarantino on that stage with another trophy in his hand.

BEST ADAPTED SCREENPLAY
Will Win: Jason Reitman and that dude who didn't do much on the screenplay, Up in the Air
Alternate: Geoffrey Fletcher, Precious: Based on the Novel "Push" by Sapphire
My Vote: Nick Hornby, An Education

BEST EDITING
Will Win: The Hurt Locker
Alternate: Avatar
My Vote: Avatar

BEST CINEMATOGRAPHY
Will Win: The Hurt Locker
Alternate: Inglourious Basterds
My Vote: The White Ribbon

I'll be first in line to admit that despite liking The Hurt Locker a lot, I am at a loss to explain how The Hurt Locker is even nominated let alone a likely victory. Sure, my understanding of the technical nuances of cinematography are no greater than most people's, but I didn't exactly see anything that screamed out amazing, classic, iconic lensing. Hmmm. Was there a single frame in that movie that was as evocative an image as the stunning images of The White Ribbon or as instantly iconic as almost any shot for Melanie Laurant in Bastards, or as craft boundary pushing as Avatar?

BEST ART DIRECTION
Will Win: Avatar
Alternate: Sherlock Holmes
My Vote: Avatar

BEST COSTUME DESIGN
Will Win: Coco Avant Chanel
Alternate: The Young Victoria
My Vote: Bright Star

I'm going with Coco because autopilot voters might very well tick the vote for it because "hey, it's about Coco Chanel so there must be good costumes, right?" when they haven't seen any of the contenders (and judging by the grosses for the nominees - Nine is the highest grosser at not even $20mil) I think it's a fair guess to say people will be voting on this category without having seen all the contenders. Having said that, I do fully expect Victoria to win (I just refuse to predict as lazily as the Academy votes) and it will the least surprising victory of the decade (outside of the acting categories).

BEST MAKEUP
Will Win: Star Trek
Alternate: The Young Victoria
My Vote: The Young Victoria

BEST ORIGINAL SCORE
Will Win: Michael Giacchnino, Up
Alternate: Alexandre Desplat, Fantastic Mr Fox
My Vote: Alexandre Desplat, Fantastic Mr Fox

Another autopilot vote. Yawn. Call me when people realise that Up is derivative of all over Pixar titles and isn't fit to shine the (Louis Vuitton) shoes of Fantastic Mr Fox. That goes for the score. Giacchino should've won for Ratatouille and should've been nominated this year for Star Trek. They got it all backwards! He's like the Dion Beebe of Original Score.

BEST ORIGINAL SONG
Will Win: "The Weary Kind (Theme from Crazy Heart)", Crazy Heart
Alternate: "Take it All", Nine
My Vote: "Take it All", Nine

For shame Adam Shankman. A year that could have delivered instantly memorable original song performances - Marion Cotillard, Jeff Bridges/Colin Farrel, Anika Noni Rose!!! - and the performances are scrapped. But as long as Taylor Lautner gets his ugly mug on the screen, I guess that's okay. /sarcasm.

BEST SOUND MIXING
Will Win: Avatar
Alternate: The Hurt Locker
My Vote: Avatar

BEST SOUND EDITING
Will Win: Avatar
Alternate: The Hurt Locker
My Vote: Avatar

BEST VISUAL EFFECTS
Will Win: Avatar
Alternate: Hah Dee, meet Hah Hah.
My Vote: Avatar

BEST ANIMATED FEATURE
Will Win: Up
Alternate: Fantastic Mr Fox
My Vote: Fantastic Mr Fox

Fox is singular and one-of-a-kind. Up is not.

BEST FOREIGN LANGUAGE FILM
Will Win: A Prophet
Alternate: The Secret in Their Eyes

BEST DOCUMENTARY FEATURE
Will Win: The Cove
Alternate: Which Way Home

BEST DOCUMENTARY SHORT
Will Win: China's Unnatural Disaster: The Tears of Suchian Provence
Alternate: The Last Truck: Closing of a GM Plant

BEST ANIMATED SHORT
Will Win: Logorama
Alternate: French Roast

BEST LIVE ACTION SHORT
Will Win: Istället för abrakadabra
Alternate: Miracle Fish

Et voila! Wasn't that fun?

*Perhaps, perhaps not.
^Perhaps, perhaps not.
**Most likely, yes.

No comments: