Monday, October 5, 2009

Hope Springs Eternal

You love Rena Riffel don't you? DON'T YOU?! Of course you do. How could you not love an actress that has played such immortal characters as "Pussy Magnifico", "Fantasy Girl", "Party Girl #2", "The Receptionist", "Detective LaRue", "Gnome Queen", "Trasharella", "Stripper #1", two Penny's and "Tiffany" not once, not twice, but three times in various "acting" projects?!? And then, ya know, she managed to have a small part in David Lynch's Mulholland Drive. What a slacker!

Well, now it turns out that her greatest ever creation - the dimmer than dim "Penny/Hope" in Paul Verhoeven's masterpiece Showgirls - is returning. Sort of. Turns out that somebody has decided to make a sequel (via) to Showgirls called Showgirls: Story of Hope.

"It's about stripper who died from a dose of contaminated cocaine. Her brother comes to Frankfurt to find the responsible and revenge."

The first thing that strikes me as strange is her "brother". BROTHER? He can't walk into an exclusive German hotel and attack people with his two-inch nails, whip-like ponytail and possibly shoot bullets out of a bra! And if they're going to bother with making a Showgirls sequel after all these years, they really do need to be able to shoot bullets out of a bra!

Unfortunately, I have no doubt that this will just be like every other sequel to a cult classic. The "filmmakers" will be trying to make a cult film and, as we all know, you can't make those. A cult film blossoms out of the rotting corpse of a flop. Movies that market themselves as being an "INSTANT CULT HIT!" are to always be avoided. They might as well market themselves by saying "WE MADE A REALLY BAD MOVIE AND EXPECT YOU TO PAY $15 TO SEE IT BECAUSE IT'S SO BAD, GEDDIT HAH HAH LOL!"

"I'll take a cigarette!"

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