Wednesday, March 18, 2009

This Week on Australian Screens

Cinema Releases for the Week 19/03/09

12 Rounds - Some wrestler called John Cena stars in this action flick with a really bad poster.

Blindness - One of the problems with such delayed released is that I felt like maybe I'd do a review, but nobody would care because this movie is "old news". Fernado Meirelles directs Julianne Moore, Mark Ruffalo and Gael Garcia Bernal (who is really quite terrible in this by the way).

Duplicity - I had originally wanted to Tony Gilroy's Michael Clayton followup a lot. I'm still a fan of Clive Owen and Julia Roberts and Clayton assured interest for a while yet, but... it's all felt a bit lacklustre, hasn't it? From the boring poster art to the general aura of "meh" about it from so many who have seen it. Closer 2 this is not.

Paul Blart: Mall Cop - The fat guy from that show where the fat guy in the dead end job gets a hot wife who stays home all day and does house work while looking George Costanza's dad stars in this movie. It's a "comedy", apparently. Nothing I have seen appears to merit calling it as such.

Salvation - Please don't see this movie!

Two Fists, One Heart - The trailer makes this Aussie-made boxing flick look quite terrible, but I heard good buzz so maybe it's worth checking out. Stars Daniel Amalm who you will surely recognise from Underbelly as Dino Dibra. Curiously, Tim Minchin has a supporting role.

DVD Releases for the Week 19/03/09

Children of the Silk Road - Sure, this Roger Spottiswoode WWII flick wasn't going to be anything amazing without him, but why oh why did they have to cast ladyman Jonathan Rhys Meyers? He was, by a wide margin, the worst thing about this admirable, but dull, movie. Also my first choice for Worst Actor of 2008. And to think, David Wenham - who would've been a much better choice - appears in a small role at the start.

Hellride - This movie, a Danish horror flick, just reminds me if anyone has heard any news of Lars Von Trier's upcoming movie Antichrist? Cause y'all know I wanna see that.

The Longshots - Since when does Limp Bizkit frontman Fred freakin' Durst direct kids movies about American football starring Ice Cube? Does. Not. Compute.

Quantum of Solace - As an entrant in the Bourne franchise it's pretty decent, but as a James Bond movie... notsomuch. Still fun though. Sort of. "Fun" isn't actually how I'd describe it. Hmmm.

The Wackness - Ben Kingsley and the girl from Juno who wasn't pregnant star in this movie about... pot dealing in the early 1990s?

6 comments:

J.D. said...

Two Fists, One Heart sounds like a really, really bad softcore-then-hardcore porno.

Kamikaze Camel said...

Two Fistings, One Headjob perhaps.

Dame James Henry said...

Why the hate towards Gael Garcia Bernal in Blindness? I thought he was quite exceptional. The character in the book was frightening, but rather limited. I think his decision to make the character a misguided prick who's completely unsure of himself even scarier.

Joel said...

Hellride is actually the Quentin Taratino 'executively produced' biker movie that is apparently terrible.

I watched Paul Blart and I gotta say, it was mildly entertaining. Considering Kevin James' track record I was expecting it to be awful, but I laughed once or twice (glowing review right?)

Paul Martin said...

So, it's a Buckmaster on Salvation, I see. ;)

Glenn said...

You could say that, Paul, yes.