Tuesday, October 14, 2008

Why Does Beyonce Confound Me So Much?

Let me just get this out of the way - "If I Were a Boy" is awful.

Let me just get this out of the way - "Single Ladies (Put a Ring on It)" is amazing.

If these two songs - which I believe are being released a duel A-Side single - are representative of her new album I Am... (ellipses hers) then it looks like it will, yet again, be a mixed bag. Beyonce is becoming famous for this, isn't it? I suppose it's indicitive of her (not quite secret) desire to be the next Diana Ross, a performer who, for her all amazing-ness, released a lot of albums that had several classic songs and a bunch of filler. This problem plagued Dangerously in Love and B'Day.

Nevertheless, if even half the songs on I Am... (ellipses in titles frustrate me so much! So much unnecessary grammar problems!) are as good as "Single Ladies (Put a Ring on It)" then it'll be half an album of amazing tracks. I particularly love the almost mechanical synths in the background of the chorus. Still, that "If I Were a Boy" is pretty dire, isn't it? Who knows what's going on in Beyonceland. I mean, she has said her album is partly inspired by Etta James (whom she portrays in an upcoming movie) and... well... I don't hear any Etta James in these songs.

Ay-Ay-Ay

Nevertheless, even if I Am... (why couldn't she just call it I Am Beyonce or something?) is tripe, we still have albums by Pink(!) Girls Aloud(!) Sugababes(!) Grace Jones(!) and Britney Spears(!) to come within a month of each other and I am more than positive that, at least, the first four of those will be definite "album of the year" contenders.

Here's "Single Ladies (Put a Ring on It)". I never said the video was amazing, did I? Cause it's not. Obviously. This is Beyonce we're talking about - she of completely and utterly useless music videos.

7 comments:

viennarain said...

You ask why she doesn't just call it I Am Beyonce. There's a rumour that it's a two-CD set with the first disc called I Am Beyonce and the second I Am Sasha (her alter-ego). "If I Were A Boy" is supposedly on the first disc with other ballads and mid-tempo songs and "Single Ladies" is on the second with other up-tempo tracks.

Dame James Henry said...

I was just going to ask you what you thought of these videos! They are both completely batshit crazy; enough that I think that Beyonce has lost her damn mind. I mean, that robot hand in "Single Ladies"? What the hell is up with that? And "If I Were a Boy" is even nutsier. First of all, the song sucks. I was expecting some Ciara "Like a Boy"-esque dance track asking men what they would think if roles were reversed, but, instead, Beyonce completely pussy-fies the issue with a lame ballad and horrible lyrics (she says something like "If I were a boy I would love my girl right". Seriously? That's the best you can come up with?). The video has an interesting premise but it is executed horribly and I was seriously laughing during the short dialogue sequence between Beyonce and her man.

I never said the video was amazing, did I? Cause it's not. Obviously. This is Beyonce we're talking about - she of completely and utterly useless music videos.

Ummm, Beyonce's videos are hardly her biggest problem. Some of them may not come out quite perfectly, but they're always trying for something (which is more than some ever do- and I'm including some artists I love). "Ring the Alarm" is one of the best of the decade, in my opinion.

Guy said...

"I am more than positive that, at least, the first four of those will be definite "album of the year" contenders."

Why stop at just the first four? If "Womanizer" is anything to go by, Britney's "Circus" (great title) will be masterful pop. "Blackout" was so underrated.

Glenn said...

I've never been a big fan of Britney (Blackout is indeed the best thing she's ever done), but considering I already have three album of the year contenders (Santogold, Gurrumul, Annie) and the likes of Girls Aloud, Sugababes, Pink and Grace Jones to come I doubt whatever Britney does will be able to compete.

James, so right about "If I Were a Boy". I saw photos from the video shoot and thought this was going to be kinda kickass, but alas... also, the freaky lesbianism vibe the whole thing emits weirds me out. Especially that spoken moment when she's all "it's not like I slept with her" and so forth.

Viennarain, that makes sense then, thanks for the info! But, alas, it just proves that she is a mental case.

yell-o said...

wtf was that ...

Anonymous said...

You are nuts! "Single Ladies" video is awesome. It's so fun to watch. The choreography is so difficult and simple all at the same time. It's different than any of the pop videos I've seen lately. "If I Were A Boy" is boring. Her voice is beautiful but the song is blah! I don't know who Sasha Fierce is but I'll wait for the album to judge!

Anonymous said...

"You are nuts! "Single Ladies" video is awesome. It's so fun to watch. The choreography is so..."

Please tell me you are joking?! That 'choreography' which is basically the entire video is so amateurish and bad... It is the kind of thing you would see in a Moby video making fun of bad auditions...