Wednesday, August 6, 2008

Waxing Lyrical

Today in HIT they did an article collating a whole bunch of "worst lyrics of all time" examples. Some are truly depressing ("My Humps", "Ass Like That", anything by Nickleback - the worst band in the history of music), yet some are hilarious and I just thought I'd share some of them with you. Read all of them here.

MacArthur Park is melting in the dark, all the sweet, green icing is melting down. Someone left the cake out in the rain. I don't think I can take it, 'cause it took so long to bake it, and I'll never have that recipe again. Oh no!

Donna Summer, "MacArthur Park" - Man, I love this song so much. Who left the freakin' cake out in the rain?!

If the light is off, then it isn't on.

Hilary Duff, "So Yesterday" - Obviously. Or not? Is there some philosophical subtext there? Okay, no, I'm fairly sure there is not.

Porcupine pie, porcupine pie, better eat it with a glove or your hand'll turn green.

Neil Diamond, "Porcupine Pie" - ummm...

Oh babe, I wanna put my log in your fireplace.

Kiss, "Burn Bitch Burn" - Maybe that's where R Kelly got his inspiration from (more hilarious lyrics at that link).

Now you're amazed by the VIP Posse, steppin' so hard like a german nazi.

Vanilla Ice, "That Funky Music" - Naturally.


Dame James Henry said...

I'm just going to admit it: I love "My Humps." It's not the most brilliant thing ever written, but it's a ton of fun. People are way too hard on that song.

I also love Madonna's "American Life" and that rap is so ballsy that I have to admire it. And the metaphor in Rihanna's "Umbrella" isn't especially deep, but it's pretty poignant for a Top 40 pop song in the 2000's.

That said, have to agree about Nickelback (I don't know what it's like in Australia, but it seems like every other month we're bombarded by more crap from that shitty band), that horrible Eminem lyric (bad day, maybe?) and "This is Why I'm Hot." It's songs like that, which was popular in America for God knows what reason, make me sad for the state of pop music. Why do people like this shit?

Kamikaze Camel said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Kamikaze Camel said...

I adore "American Life", which I think I've made quite clear in the past.

But, yeah, "My Humps" is dirge and a stain on society.

Catherine said...

Anything that Fergie puts her name to is usually awful. There's the awful "Clarity, Peace, Serenity" guff that she keeps repeating in Big Girls Don't Cry, this lovely couplet from London Bridge "The Grey Goose got your girl feeling loose / Now I'm wishing that I didn't wear these shoes" and her obsession with having things spelt out (literally) in her songs. I break out in a rash everytime I hear Will.I.Am. misspell tasty. "T to the A, to the S T E Y - girl, you're tasty, T to the A to the S T E Y - girl, you're tasty". ARGH!

Of course, then you have Kate Nash's "If I wanna think, I'll think in my head".

That Vanilla Ice one is hilarious. My personal favourite Ice couplet might just be "Bum rush the speaker that booms /
I'm killin your brain like a poisonous mushroom". Ooh, threatening.

And everytime I hear "Bye Bye" by Mariah, I snort when she sings "And you never got the chance to see how good I’ve done / And you never got to see me back at number one". Way to keep the attention on yourself, Mariah!

Adem With An E said...

I love "My Humps." I also recall Cameron Alzheimers quite liking the AL rap when it was released. Guess he's forgotten in his old age.

And I cannot believe MacArthur Park made it. That lyric is one of the greatest in pop music history.

FranklinBluth said...

I totally agree with you re: Nickelback

Glenn said...

Catherine, I don't listen to the radio and I promptly deleted "Bye Bye" after one horrifying listen.