Monday, April 21, 2008

Glenn's Completely Irrational Reactionary Thoughts About Hard Candy

I'm naughty, sue me. I'm still gonna be there buying the album when it's released. I just... couldn't help it. Anyway. Let's take a peak, shall we?

"Candy Shop"
4/10
A dud opener.

"4 Minutes"
8/10
At first I loved it, then I went lukewarm on it, and now I'm in the middle. That opening is still epic.

"Give It 2 Me"
8.5/10
Fun and bonkers.

"Heartbeat"
5/10
Looove the opening 24 seconds, but after that it just kinda labors about. Skippable.

"Miles Away"
9.5/10
On first impression, the album standout. Love the chorus, particularly. Mixes the styles of her American Life and Confessions on a Dance Floor albums brilliantly. This is what she should be making and not junk like "Candy Shop".

"She's Not Me"
6/10
For some unknown reason this track is 6 minutes long! The first four are disposable, but those final two are stunning.

"Incredible"
6/10
Again, for reasons unknown to anybody apart from those involved (presumedly) this song is an unweildly 6 and a half minutes long! The first three remind me of "Everybody" (her first hit) but just not as good. The second half, however, the song turns into the craziest god damn workout track of the year is quite great.

"Beat Goes On"
7.5/10
Surprising! Nicely effective. Kanye West's rap isn't repulsive!

"Dance 2nite"
7/10
The chorus is great (retro galore) and the rest is decent.

"Spanish Lesson"
8.5/10
Super catchy!

"Devil Wouldn't Recognise You"
9/10
Another standout. Fits into "mellow Timbaland" territory quite nicely (and if you know anything extensive about his career you can tell it's a Timbaland song right off the first beat).


Hard Candy
7.5/10
A few dogs, a few standouts, a lot of "pretty good". The album itself is "pretty good". Some songs will get better with time, some will not. I'm just thankful it's not a complete dog like many were worried about/hoping for.

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