Monday, March 10, 2008

More Rambled Pointless Thoughts About SYTYCD

Let's start with Natalie Bassingsassingsassassassingthwaighte. I love her, but Jesus, Mary and Joseph that bitch is a terrible TV host. Amusing things heard over the last few weeks include a bizarre "Enjoy!" as the judges went backstage to decide who would go home. The equally bizarre "Congratulations!" to Laura as she got kicked out of the competition. The way she just trails off mid sentence. Her continuous "This crowd is great!" / "What a crowd, HUH?!" / "Let's hear it for your top [#]". All of which are usually followed the sounds of crickets chirping, frogs ribbitting and trees falling in the woods with nobody around to hear them.

And, perhaps the greatest moment in live Australian TV (and there are many many contenders, trust me) when the Basshunter chimed "Okay Courtney, you need to sit on the stool now." Aah, bliss, no?


This woman is a terrible ad libber, yes. But the most ridiculous of the worst is that - shockingly for a woman who claims to also be an actress - her "range" (as they call it, natch) is shockingly narrow. She'll go from her crazy demonic happiness to frowny face sadness. As if tears are going to burst out of every pore in her body and she's gonna dye her hair black and start cutting.

:( omg!

Yet, I still love her and I'm glad she she's still hanging around despite, like JD and Rhiannon last week, being totally awful. You keep at it Natalie Addictedtobass and you'll get there one day! Whether it's a random episode is season three, I'm sure you'll click to it eventually. Until then, we always have you aiming a shotgun and imagining she's pointing it directly into Bonnie's big fat obnoxious gob.

Still, the show itself continues to flounder about when the attention isn't on Natalie FishingintheBassStrait. The lighting is getting worse. On tonight's eviction show they had the three dancers lined up and they were all covered in shadows (some of which were Natalie's it must be said, but not her fault) like they'd just been kicked off The Weakest Link. That would make the elimination process better, actually. A quick and succinct "You are not good enough. Goodbye." And I can't remember who it was but someone was dancing last night and they didn't even have a spotlight on them! I also don't know what the cameramen are doing some of the time either. Focusing on the wrong people, zooming out when they should be... well, doing something else!

And then there's the judges. Matt Lee is... I dunno. He's always there so points for persistence, and he's probably quite punctual so he has that going for him! Bonnie is insufferable. Can that woman ever keep her comments from being a marathon? I never thought I'd miss Marcia Marcia Marcia like that time she cryptically said nothing to Tarasai Vushe on Idol. And Jason? Jason! He knows what he's talking about and usually his opinion mirrors my own, but god he knows how to be a pompous wank, doesn't he? You don't need to detail!. And his dissections on tonight's show of the six dancers in the bottom group were utterly hysterical. "We took that into consideration." How about taking your shirts into consideration?

(god, I'm good)

But, alas, I continue to watch this oft ridiculous series because there are indeed some great dancers on the show and they indeed do some great dancing. Laura and Anthony's dance was truly bizarre though - was that even dancing? Watch it and decide for yourself. It just looked like a lot of running around and rolling and "sexy" crap. I feel bad for Camilla - a contestant I really like - because now she's going to be partnered with Anthony - a contestant I really dislike after their own partners got eliminated. They got sent to the stool of death!!!!!

However, Vanessa and Henry were amazing for the first time. Ever. And thank Christ Henry finally cut his hair off. Didn't he just instantly become a billion times sexier than when he had that greasy Jamie Durie circa Manpower hair? Meanwhile people like Jack (beautiful cartoon character Jack), Rhys, Gemma, Demi and Graeme continue to be eleven (twelve?) different kinds of brilliant.

...and so on! This show is such a dichotomy!

And such ends another week of frustration as a result of So You Think You Can Dance. Let's end with an image of Jack Chambers. Just because. Mmmm. You can view more over at the official site. Don't you just wanna fold him up and put him in your pocket?




Adem With An E said...

Poor NatBas. I still love her.

My only issues with the show are the judges - I'm fucking sick of ALL of them. Thank god for the Foxtel IQ; I just fast forward through all their talky-shit and watch the dancing and Natalie, that's it.

The congratulations WAS hilarious though. I'd like to think Natalie's getting drunk before each show.

Kamikaze Camel said...

It would make it all worth while to know that Bassguitar is getting drunk before each show. I tend to walk away while they're not dancing and end up doing all sorts of chores or whathaveyou.