Friday, March 28, 2008

But Will It Be Better Than Spiceworld?

I find it amusing that just yesterday people were mentioning in the comments of another entry about the pleasure (or lack thereof) of seeing British pop star extraordinaries Girls Aloud (they of "Biology", "Call the Shots", etc) in a movie (that'd be St Trinians, which is apparently as ghastly as it appears in the trailers). Well, now it appears that people like Adem are going to be getting their wish.

Girls Aloud are going to be making their very own movie! (via DefamerAu)

Kimberley Walsh said: "We want it to be a Friends and Sex And The City kind of thing, all morphed into one."

Well, that makes sense considering Sex and the City has four main cast members and Friends has six. Average that out and you get the magic number FIVE! Also, will it be set in New York City?

Speaking at the launch of the new KitKat Senses chocolate bar, Nicola Roberts said the filming (of St Trinians) whet their acting appetite.

Puns and KitKats! Give this journalist a Pulitzer!

"We've been given a lot of dodgy scripts - they were all awful. One of them was a horror film, where we would have been running through the woods in our underwear."

I need to see this movie NOW! That'd be amazing to see Nadine running around in her panties being hunted down by, like, Ammelle Sugababe (I wouldn't put it past her).

Looking at the hype surrounding the Sex And The City movie - and that's only with four attractive girls - a Girls Aloud movie wouldn't have anything to worry about as far as publicity was concerned.

I bet these girls were great in maths class, huh?!?

When asked what actor they would most like to work with, Nadine and Kimberley both agreed on Denzel Washington, so it looks like the film might be more action-packed then we might have thought.

Surely even those who aren't as acquainted with Girls Aloud as they should be can see how BRILLIANTLY AMAZING this quote is. I can't stop laughing at the prospect.

Scarily, the article at the Daily Mail has three comments from readers. "Like they are going to eat a life time supply of chocolate!" So true. "Nicola is so pretty!" So true and insightful. "I've just tried one. They're revolting." Either that means he's tried a Girls Aloud, but I find it hard to believe that they're revolting, or he's tasted one of these new KitKat Sense things and it's revolting. Thanks for the heads up!

I quite liked Defamer's line of thinking when it comes to what the film's plot should be.

What would've been better would be if they proposed a heart-wrenching drama about a bunch of girls from the commission flats who band together to give it one last shot at stardom before the ranga of the group dies of a Fatal Illness backstage after they've won their first Brit Award. With Ray Winstone and Judi Dench as Sarah Harding's alcoholic parents and special guest starring a fake-tanned Clive Owen as Ashley Cole.

Yes. Yes it would be better. Better and AMAZING!!! It'd be like a British version of the tried and true subgenre of person/people from the wrong side of the track using the power of music/dance/singing to pull themselves (and their nodding-with-sudden-approval parents) out of the slums and into SUCCESS! They will face many bumps along the way, but through perseverance and their uncanny ability to withstand anything that comes their way (including a handbag wielding maniac in the woods!!!) they will leave the commission flats and step out their world of grey and into a world of rainbows, bunnies and slow motion smiling. It'll be like Glitter meets Spiceworld!

I can see it now!

"When I was young I had such a vision of myself. I dreamed I'd be someone to be reckoned with, you know, in the world. But one learns one's scale. I've such a dread of ending my days alone. But recently, I've allowed myself to think that I may not be. And I think it's time you realised you'll NEVER be a star! You'll be just like me. You'll experience the drip, drip of the long-haul, no-end-in-sight solitude. You'll see what it's like to construct an entire weekend around a visit to the launderette. Or to be so chronically untouched that the accidental brush of a bus conductor's hand sends a jolt of longing straight to your groin. Because you're a poor worthless daughter of poor worthless nobodies and they never become famous."



Adem With An E said...


When this is released, we need to rally for a random one-off screening somewhere in Melbourne. People would go and see this shit, you just KNOW IT.


Kamikaze Camel said...

Oh yeah, you just know no distributer would pick it up for a proper release. People would be like "of course girls are allowed! omglolz!!!!1"

It'd be amazing though.

Catherine said...

Oh, man. This post = golden.

Having rewatched Spiceworld just last week, I cannot see how it could possibly be better than that opus. I know the Girls will try their darnedest though! That Denzel Washington quote...jeesh.

Cal said...

This is the best news in ages. Of course it will be better than Spiceworld! How could it be worse?

I love Girls Aloud but I do think it's pretty damn hilarious that they advertise Kit Kat chocolate bars, since they all seem to be obsessed about their weight.