I now present to you a (fictional) conversation between Diane Keaton, Queen Latifah and
Diane: Look at me! I'm 71 years old and I'm in incredible shape!
Katie: If I could turn back time... If I could find a way...
Diane: I'm a bit hungry though. Perhaps I could have a chicken salad and nobody would notice.
Katie: I found someone... to take away the heart ache...
Diane: I mean, if nobody sees me throwing up in the bathroom afterwards then it's like it never even happened. If a tree falls in the woods and all that mumbo jumbo.
Queen: *stuffs face with money*
Katie: You've to be strong when you're out on your own... because sooner or later we all sleep alone...
Diane: My face looks sort of skeletal from this angle, doesn't it? Maybe I could have a slice of toast. Maybe.
Queen: Oh god! Money tastes so good!!!!!
Katie: They'll shoot you down just like Jesse James!
Diane: Look at Queen Latifah shove that money down her big fat gob. Money has no carbs, right? No calories. It's money, how can it have calories????
Queen: You know what this money needs to be? DEEP FRIED!!!
Katie: Do you believe in life after love?
Diane: Christ, I need food. My face is falling off!
Queen: Green tastes better than blue!
Katie: Wait, I thought I changed my name to Kate?
Man, I'm talented.