Sunday, November 18, 2007

Pro-Strike!

You know, I guess I'm all for the writer's strike. I mean, I am technically a writer (hey, I get paid to spread my opinions around like a hooker spreads her STDs so I can call myself whatever I want) and as a writer I always know "hey, writers get jipped. a lot!" so, yeah, good for them and all that razzamataz.

But, you know, a lot people are crying about how all their favourite television shows - you know, House, Grey's Anatomy, CSI and all those other crap programs - but, there are two significant advantages for the casual television/movie watching soul.

1. Awards shows will, you would assume, be incredibly shorter. You see, normally Kate Hudson and Matthew Macononanughaney would strut out onto the stage at the Golden Globes to present best original song or whatever and, well, whatd'ya know they also have a brand new movie coming out, which means they then have to talk for several excruciating minutes with such witty banter like when they talk about how filming on a tropical island was "like a holiday" at which point Kate would turn to Matthew and go "but then you're whole life is a holiday, isn't it? I mean, everytime I see you in the tabloids you're half-naked doing yoga!" to which Matt will grin and begin to take his suit off, but will then make a joke that he forgot he was about to present an award and that he forgets he's being watched by photographers and that if he knew so many people were ogling him online then he wouldn't do it as much. At such a point Kate would then chuckle and go "But you know, when I am on holiday I like to listen to my iPod and, you know what? I was listening to it backstage in the commercial break and all five of tonight's nominates songs are on there and they're all deserving of a Golden Globe. The nominees are..."

Yeah, all that? GONE!

Also, fewer Jon Stewart jokes about Hilary Clinton's favourite movie being Bound and how if the election were a horror movie Barack Obama would be the first to die. BECAUSE HE'S BLACK!!! So, naturally, the Oscar telecast is already better by default.

2. We'll have to wait a longer period of time for another Ben Stiller movie. Shucks!


That is a shame come to think of it. How will we cope?

4 comments:

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J.D. said...

Shucks, indeed. How will the world survive!??!?

James Henry said...

What?! No more Ben Stiller movies?! I am appalled, outraged and shocked. These pussy writers need to get back to work and start writing more hysterical comedies like "The Heartbreak Kid", "Along Came Polly" and "Night at the Museum". I don't know how I'll spend the time. This might mean I'd actually have to see an intelligent movie!

*sarcasm heavily implied*

Piper said...

If there was ever an argument for the strike to continue until the end of days, it might just be Fool's Gold.