Thursday, November 15, 2007

Boo! How Scary?

I watched two horror flicks yesterday. Neither of them were any good.

The Hills Have Eyes - Perhaps Alexandra Aja was the trick? I was actually quite a fan of Aja's 2006 remake of Wes Craven's 1977 flick The Hills Have Eyes. I probably even prefered it to the original. However Aja (whose Haute Tension I was not a fan of by the way) has gone from the sequel as both writer and director and, well, it suffers, even though Craven is on board as writer and producer. This sequel is not a remake of the 1985 sequel, which memorably featured a dog flashback and an oh-so-fashionable group of ragtag motorcross bikers as the targets.

This movie is really terrible though. Really terrible. It's the kind of movie where characters are standing on the edge of a cliff and one says "be careful, it's a long fall". It's the sort of movie where mere moments after acting as bait to capture a mutant one woman walks off by herself into the rocky terrain that is filled with raping cannibals. It's the kind of movie where the army locates a man who has been left for dead for days and who then decides the kill himself just when he had the chance of survival. It's the kind of movie where the women are named "Amber" and "Missy" and where the cast is filled with anonymous nobodys who are all incredibly unlikable. It's like some z-grade horror flick from the 1980s. It's nonsensical, ugly and relentlessly stupid. The only moments that are any good are when they use the score from last year's remake, a score that I rewarded with a silver UMA. All in all, The Hills Have Eyes II is a load of crap. F

28 Weeks Later - Again taking over the reigns of a more well-known and, let's face it, better director is Juan Carlos Fresnadillo, taking charge of this sequel to Danny Boyle's quite excellent 28 Days Later. I can't remember if Days was as incredibly incoherent as Weeks, but the dizzying editing and cinematography make this installment a big disappointment. The biggest of the film's issues is the absurd Robert Carlyle who manages to pop up at any time the script calls for it.

A fantastically choreographed opening scene and another on the fields of Dover involving a helicopter and a whole lot of zombies are effective and very rush-enducing, but that doesn't make up for a film made up of weak and confusing setpieces. In fact, this whole movie seems entirely confused with itself, up to and including a befuddling ending, which doesn't give any justice to it's powerful ideas. Those kids are bloody idiots, too! C

I should have watched Hostel Part II and made it a hatrick of lame sequels.

1 comment:

Adam said...

Agreeing with you on both counts here. Hills 2 is an absolute disaster, mind you I wasn't expecting much. Having Craven attached as co-writer isn't really a mark of quality, as this surely proves. The 1985 Hills 2 is pretty dull itself, but yeah it had that dog flashback along with 20 million other flashbacks, thus negating the need to ever watch the original ever again.

28 Weeks Later meanwhile should have been called "Everyone Dies". It goes to the trouble of introducing new characters every 5 minutes, then has them killed within the next 15. Some would call this bleak, but I just thought it was stale. Yes, the kids are retarded and after about the 20th time they said "We'll never be apart again", I prayed for Rose Byrne to break out the super glue and ensure they keep their word.

Funnily enough, I thought Hostel 2 was really entertaining in a perverse sort of way. It managed to be more vicious than the original, but also more light hearted. Don't know how eternal wanker Eli Roth pulled that off.